Amanda Ramcharitar Yoga

This is my first writing in ages! I haven’t felt myself drawn to writing, to expressing myself in a literal sense in a long time almost as if there is not much more to add to the immense world of words.  After I wrote a small book on Yoga and started writing articles, I sort of went into a whirlwind of a very busy life.   Having a child, opening a Yoga studio, running regular workshops and tending to students practices, the writing went very much in the background and I just didn’t find I had time or energy to express myself.   However a few months back came a moment in my life where i just felt i needed to stop pushing into this busy life and return to a simpler way of living, to live from intuition, from the heart… But could I live like this?  Could i backtrack a bit? Well I thought I would take the opportunity to find out.  And interestingly it wasn’t so much my busyness that changed, but rather an extreme perspective shift that took place.  The only “obligation” i had to show up for was to be a Mother, maintain my daily Yoga practice, teach my regular Yoga classes and run a household, which is busy.

What i did do differently was give myself time for self-expression, total freedom of creativity, at first i put a bit of pressure on myself that this expression should bring some income, but slowly that dissolved as I didn’t let myself become limited to one medium, i created whatever took my fancy on any given day.  I have in the past explored many creative mediums and techniques so i did have a bit of toolbox to draw from and some preexisting tools, like paint, clay, yarn, crafty things, but what really got it rolling was simple doodling with pencil and paper.  Allowing myself to be a kid again and amazingly slowly layers began to peel back to what i realised was a very blocked inner child, and to find her again was one of the most valuable time spent of my adult life.  I became whole again.  This made me realise, that “work” in the conventional sense, is easy.  Self-work has no profit gain, its hard, its honest, its painful and no one really seems to care what you’re doing as there is no real outward awesomeness. But from the inside to become comfortable with oneself is one of the most tranformative experiences a person can go through and it has a lasting ripple effect in one’s existence day to day. 

After this amazing reconnection, my self-expression shifted from child-like paintings, to real visually satisfying pieces, every piece was was like watching a child grow up, it was a very fast evolution of ability, I could draw faster, I could see clearer and could pick up things easier.   All of my crafts just kept getting better day by day, I wasn’t as daunted by what i couldn’t do.  I became more in love with what i wanted to express, what i loved around me and the best way i could capture it.  The techniques also became more of a meditation as well, repetition was soothing.  I heard somewhere the other day “art is love made public”.  And I realised after taking a moment out of my distracted life, and allowing myself to consciously connect and concentrate on my life, to feel my life, its beauty, its immensity, its harmony, its sadness, the passion, the angst, the burbling of happiness, expression was a natural if not almost inevitable offering to my existence. I’ve come to see that to share one’s love of life, be it shrouded in angst or enraptured by it is one of the most amazing freedoms a human can know.  And it can be done with just a pencil and a piece of paper or mud from the earth. Rumi, the great 13th century poet, was a perfect example of this, summarising his love of life in a few magnetic words strewn together in poetry for the soul, that still resonate with most individuals in our modern age. Or cave painters that left their markings made from plant and blood, to be discovered thousands of years later.  Or potters leaving pot shards to be discovered with remnants of contents.  The human need to express, with the help of a beautiful use of words, earth or plant dyes, in yogic terms, these expressions were heightened vibrationally and continue to raise the human’s mind out of its limited perspective.

Many of us come from households where financial security is the driving force of our occupational choices, we often fail to incorporate what our soul is in need of expressing. How our journey as humans are not to just experience life, but to digest it. We, like all forms in the universe are creative, we are constantly replacing cells, consuming energy in the form of food to recreate ourselves cellularly.  However if we stay stuck in this unconscious physical recreation, we miss out on a greater force within ourselves that is also digesting life’s experiences and wanting to discern and create from the same cellular depths.

Our modern generation mantra has been “do what you love and the rest will follow” almost giving promise that if we love what we do we will be paid for it.  The dilemma with this philosophy is that there is already an expectation put on our expression. Something to gain. But self-expression is the prize, as soon as there is intention behind expression, then it is no longer free, it will be paid for expression.  Our expression is ours, it is our birthright.  No one can take it from us, it is for us to offer, and i do believe it should be savoured by ourself first before it is corrupted or driven by money.

The Yogi, Sadhguru is quoted as saying “Yoga means to be in perfect tune. Your body, mind, spirit and existence are in absolute harmony. When you fine-tune yourself to a point where everything functions so beautifully within you, the best of your abilities will naturally flow out of you.”  The Yoga practice allows us to harness our innate potential, meditation allows us to find clarity and space in our minds, so that we may choose with balanced awareness what brings us happiness, and to share this happiness, this love, these passions outwardly. Yes it may bring some income, but the fact that we have found something we love so deeply to express is, beautiful in itself.  It is a pure freedom.  It is a human’s ultimate freedom, Self-expression, to express oneself in one way or a multitude of ways… Although i’m only at the beginning of this conscious journey with self-expression, i realize after creating the space for it, i now choose where I put my energy in my life and today after more than 3 years I was moved to write again, i feel like i have something to express in a literal way, in my way and that is my right… And that feels pretty damn good, powerful, and i hope that everyone can find that freedom from within.